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Posts Tagged ‘Men are from Mars’

… Gossipville ? PolitiCity ? I could think of a choice few words more to describe the ‘fairer sex’ but we want to keep this blog PG-13**.That’s not to say I haven’t a couple of men in mind who would deserve them (and, possibly, more) ,too but it’s not a general tendency at the very least (Men, be thankful.Very thankful.).

I do not know the mind that labeled humans in general at the peak of the Intelligence chart but she ( Heck, I’m ranting about the Shes as things are, so why not go all the way, right?) obviously missed a couple of things.

I mean, you know how they say men are like dogs, women, cats ( no offence meant to the felines)? It’s true.The mind that came up with that, I’ve no issues with.Like, ” Give a dog a bone and–“. OK, the Memory fails, but it’s something to do with ‘Rufus’ being eternally grateful .Men are like that.I’m not saying ‘Give a man a bone and he’ll be eating right out of your hand’ but just generally, they’re nicer.Or maybe, the word I’m looking for is ..simpler.Not in the head! In a good way. Females, on the other hand (apart from making me want to tear at my hair) have all sorts of strange inhibitions and rituals and such like. Also note : I have never- to date- been offered an acceptable explanation (or of the beat ’round the bush-type) either.

Laws for Survival :

* Gossip hard.Especially about the person you were just gossiping with.Honestly.No sport has yet been invented that is more ..’compelling’.

* Herd instinct: There is NO such thing as individual opinion.Also: a female escort is needed everywhere.Especially to the loo.

* It is necessary to find ‘ those model-types’ absolutely insane ( ” Do those people think of nothing but themselves?!”) but also: if you do not know what shade (of pink) *insert famous female’s name* wore to That award show That year, you must be of tribal descent and scientifically ignorant.Something along those lines anyway.If not told so, the Looks will tell.

* If you are waiting in a queue, it is obviously essential that you notice how Poor Mary Sue’s hair is also indicative of tribal descent.This is only on Sue’s Birthday of course.Further lenience is unheard of.

* Everything is giggle-worthy.

* It serves well to imagine the worst of everyone, as everyone, of the worst. (He he.. I’m just having too much fun with this.The second part was supposed to mean everyone reciprocates. Or you imagine that they do.This is resultant of Law I).

* You know those tests where they ask you stuff like ‘ Would you tell your friend if she had spinach stuck to her teeth?’. All females should pick ‘No’.But they will not.Because such tests will generally be taken with said friends at shoulder.

Right-ho, then (Excuse me for that, I’ve had a lot of Wodehouse in me ole system, lately).Here, I shall end.This does NOT mean that’s the last of it- I merely do not want hate mail flooding my overflowing inbox.It also does not mean all females are annoying that way, or that guys are all ‘nice’ ( The brother comes to mind.He he), just that they are generally better people.To my (twisted) mind at least.Then again, generalizations are generally meaningless.Yes, there is reason to call us the Oxymorons.

That will be all.

Apparently, not:

I must also say that I am not sexist (how can I afford to be?).And that sexist people are stupid.That’s one generalization I wont argue with (again: how can I afford to? Just came up with it din’t I?)

**Not really.

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