Posts Tagged ‘life’

searching-for-me So I’ve been thinking.And thinking.And thinking.To the point where I wish I were thoughts-mute.About what, you ask? Impatient as always, aren’t we? Not that I can blame you.. XD
Mostly, I’ve been wondering..Why this sudden almost-aversion to Other People? OK, not-so-sudden.In the sense that I would celebrate the anniversary of our’togetherness’, perhaps, this summer.I can only explain it insofar that it’s this nagging something that’s like an alarm in your head saying “Why are you even here?”.< We interrupt this programme to bring you this Author’s Request :Bear with me! >The simplest way I can think of putting this is that everything I do lacks passion.Oh heck, it lacks minimum requisite interest.Right from going to school (Which, God, I demand an explanation for-yes, even though I’m not certain I believe in er, You!) and holding conversations to not-just-sitting-in-a-slump-all-night-like-I-want-to, everything is just so exasperatingly pointless.

Sanjana (one of the people who are supposed to post here) asked me a while back what I would pick if I was granted a wish,Yeah, that old question.And a very interesting one, nevertheless.An endless supply of wishes is what I totally would’ve picked if I had had the option.That being er, unavailable, I settled for ‘Peace’.I know, what kind of an answer is that, right? I mean unless you’re in a beauty pageant.. (God forbid!).What I meant, though, was just peace, ah, in my head.I notice how I’m particularly articulate when I’m saying things that make me want to roll my eyes (yes, at myself.).But I digress.

Peace.By which I can only suppose I mean exemption from The Shallowness that is Life. No, really.Why is it that everyone else seems to be happy enough with a couple of laughs at somebody else’s misfortune, idle chatter, and a trip to the parlour?


Pie Chart-1

Likewise, my attempts at ‘Picking a Career Already!’ have been.. er, not fruitful at best.Again, I can’t imagine doing just one thing over and over just so I can pocket a big cheque on Pay Day.I can find nothing that, ah, “has scope” that would at all hold my interest.Medicine and Engineering are out of the way.The things I love are arts, literature, philosophy and more recently- math.It is just unfair that a ‘Pass’ on your boards will still land you somewhere whereas if you picked something more outlandish you’d have to be at the very-frikkin’-summit to get anywhere and ‘have scope’.So, yes, life stinks etc.And we’re back to square one.I should add (just so you’re fully convinced of my insanity) that if I had the choice, I would love-beyond anything- to lead a Bardic life.What was that about insanity, again?Right.

I find that most of what I’ve written is barely comprehensible to me.Again.Apart from boring you to death, the point of this has been that I’m just tired of everything right now, and dealing with Other People simply reinforces the idea.And that I will still go back to school tomorrow and think the same.

Lucid and Fuzzy should know: you guys are excluded from the Other People category.The niceness is unintentional.OK?Good.

I also just realized how I said sometime back that “This is not a journal!” (and indeed it is not) but this is long, straight from my head, makes zero sense..halfway there, wouldn’t you say?

Anyway, I’m going to go sleep, now.At 5:30 pm.

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Thaa..t’s me (Score to self for the rhyme!) !

“A little bit of industry is just what this soul needs”..that’s what you thought right? Well, I was right there with you.Until now.Judging by the lousy week I’ve had, though? Industry = BAD.It equals just asking for trouble.If you go to Vidya Mandir* (there, I’ve said it!) , anyway.Remember that post on Women? I bet you thought I was just ranting about one such female, one little incident somewhere along the way that scarred me for life.. No such luck, however.The Gentler Sex seems determined to enforce my observations.This week for instance :

I was appointed Art Director for this play we’re performing, Saturday. Equals good, right?


Because of the natural females-politics affinity.

First, this woman asks me to be the Art Director.She says : Design the sets.What do I do? Design the sets.And then she says: start working on it.I’m working on it.And THEN.. she says I haven’t done anything at all towards the creation of a set and so I go in the trash can so she can find herself a shiny, new Director(so to say).Of course, this I hear only from gossiping juniors.


That is all I ask. OK, it’s not – I have a whole frikkin’ list, actually, but still.Just why is it so utterly, impossibly unthinkable to just come, tell ME if she thinks I’m not doing what I am not paid to do I should be doing ? And in my defence, I have actually been working on it.Most days, there are more active sloths than yours truly but I have been doing everything I can with available ‘crew’ (for lack of a better word) and material.In fact, some other people (outside of our cast) actually appreciated it. The aforementioned sow , though? She thinks ‘the wood kind of looks like it has little bugs on it’ (in reference to the wood-pattern). In her defence (yes, in my head, I actually defend the guilty party ,also) someone from our cast thought it was ugly (in not so many words, but still) , too. Now, generally, I like constructive criticism (much better than gushy complimenting) but this, when TO MY FACE.I absolutely do not appreciate learning from other sources of my ‘incompetence’.

Result : 1) I thoroughly regret agreeing to it at all.All play, no work suits me just fine (sorry, Jack**).

2) I hate school and, more importantly, the people in it even more.Which is sad because I didn’t think there was room for any more hate in that direction.

3) I am (possibly) no good at drawing things other than noses, too.Thanks, Life.It’s been a pleasure.

A while back, this kid at school made a speech during the assembly – something about having to trust the world anew everyday although it shatters that trust every single time.I thought it melodramatic at the time but there’s nothing like a little dose of school to cure such idiocy.

That will be it, for now.Stay tuned for further pleasant musings.

*The school I attend.

** ” All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy; All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy “.

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Hola pplz! No, I did not die (You may Rejoice), but was merely being worked to death by the torture house they call “The Board” ( You may cower in fear). Yes, ppl, I am now in the 12th grade and must ‘take my studies seriously’ and ‘work hard’ because this is a very ‘crucial’ and ‘the deciding’ year of my life. If you’re from India, I bet you’ve already heard all this and more. Join the club.

So , from the last time I wrote,I have returned from London and the joys of vacation and not so gently been plopped into the life of a 12th grade student. Its a sad life. All I seem to be able to do is study, there is simply no time for anything else. In fact, as I write this, I am worrying about my Chemistry test tomorrow.

But I am not completely disabled, I have finished reading The Lady Elizabeth which I found very very well written a good way to learn about the history of one of the most intelligent and shrewd queens of England. We should have been taught history this way! I have also read The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray, the last book of the her trilogy set in Victorian England beginning with A Great and Terrible Beauty followed by Rebel Angels and finally, The Sweet Far Thing. I absolutely loved the last one.It was a good ending to a good series. The books are a sort of mix between Historical fiction and Fantasy. They’re a good read, pick them up if you have the time. I also read the first two of the Vampire Academy books by Richelle Mead (Vampire Academy and Frostbite) which are a good, sort of “pass the time” books.Well written but quite predictable and a little clich├ęd. But I still *heart* Dimitri!

In other news, I’m loving the Breaking Dawn cover!!! Can’t wait for it to come out! If Santa can get Adzzie her mad gloves and all that stuff, why can’t he just get me Edward Cullen, Hmm?? I *heart* Edward also! (JIC)

I have to go study now or I shall flunk my test tomorrow. Wish me luck!


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“..Tant pis pour elle..”.So much piss for her.Wait,what?

And that, folks, is what I did yesterday(the translation, I mean).Not just that all day, like on loop but..close enough.So, apparently? Tant pis is’ too bad’.Nothing to do with, ah, ahem.

Before you declare me beyond medical help and OMG, RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIVES!, I should tell you I was reading Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina- the words didn’t just float up to me, in which case I’d have had to agree with your ‘RUNnnn..!’ decision.It’s a good book too -otherwise of that little shock it gave me- although a little soap opera-esque.Still, I think I like War and Peace better although I read it ages back and don’t really remember much of it.I did watch the movie recently though.. ( Yeah, I know, stand me in a museum and call me a fossil! I tend to prefer older movies and adaptations because you get to see actual good acting, it’s more theatre-inclined than stuff that goes on the big screen these days.I mean, people are on there not just because ‘OMG! He’s so cute!’.OK, know what? I’ll call ya when I’m selling the novel.Although...OK,I’m zzzzippin’ it!)

Despite my ‘promise’, you should’ve seen more art on here today but for the fact that one sheet is,ah, shredded (let us have a moment of silence) and the other is to be.Definitely not for human- or any other, for that matter- eyes.*Grimace*

So while Fuzzylogic abandoned me, and xlucidsanityx went shopping (AGAIN!) somewhere in London I got to hmmmm… ahh.. let’s see… nope…uummm… shall we say, DO NOTHING?!

Hey, have you ever heard that saying, ‘Life, she be cruel’ ?

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