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Posts Tagged ‘Humour’

This is one of the funniest, smartest things I have ever read: “Famous world ideologies, as explained with reference to cows”.

 

 

 

Powers that be,

Please let the Internet be around forever.

Amen.

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Hello, Subjects. Been a while, hasn’t it? What’s new, you ask?Well, not these opening lines.That’s for damned sure. The good old Bright Side, though, is that I’ve stories to tell for your entertainment. And on that note, I give you the Highlights for this month:

1.Lucid’s birthday:

I am aware that Fuzzy posted with birthday wishes and a summary of the crazy-ass birthday happenings on the Day of Lucid, as Sept. 12 shall be known henceforth. But I would like to elaborate with the gory background details.

Fuzzy and I had originally planned to film ourselves pretending to go clothes-shopping for Lucid’s birthday and generally being ignorant and hideous in our choices(as is only bound to happen when Fuzzy and I clothes-shop), thereby making Lucid (who is very not fashion-challenged) simultaneously laugh and fear her gift. Of course, we couldn’t actually present the girl with terrible clothes on her birthday, so the gift would have to be something entirely different. So far, so good, yes? That’s what we thought. Reality, though, had a very different opinion in the form of an employee at the mall of choice (Citi Centre, for those in the know.). He poured cold water all over our plans with an arched eyebrow and a “Uh, no filming allowed inside the mall.”. Not that this stopped us, right away, oh no. Fuzzy and I figured we’d film out of sight, in the changing rooms. That bright idea came to a screeching halt, however, when another employee told us we couldn’t both be in a room. The poor lady must have thought us very strange, indeed. I’m laughing out loud right now, just at the thought.Now, this was a problem because either of us talking to ourselves in the changing room (and the video did require our opinions to be actually funny) would not, we believed, have been tolerated too well, either. Which meant: Plan B. Plan B would involve asking random strangers at the mall to wish Lucid a happy birthday on camera. You can imagine how that went. First off, Fuzzy and I are socially awkward at best, so we spent several minutes studying potential subjects, and wondering how best not to come across as being entirely, well,..creepy. We follwed people up stairs, down escalators, out of cinema halls.. you name it. The first couple of people were fairly forthcoming. I cannot say we were optimistic for very long after, however, because we got several questioning looks and emphatic “NO!”s right after. We also found that, contrary to intuition, which suggests that groups of people would be less hesitant to appear in said video, the larger the group, the less likely we were to get okay-ed. We did meet some surprisingly enthusiastic participants, however, one of whom was all for singing happy birthday for us! I wish we had some way to link to these awesome people, but we did thank them repeatedly, so that’s that. The biggest disappointment was a girl in a Superman T-shirt who refused. I mean, you’re wearing a Superman T-shirt. DON’T wear Superman T-shirts if you wont wish Lucid a happy birthday, dammit! Apart form the video, we got Lucid a welcome-mat for her room(which is sort of second-home to me), a painting and a photoframe with a picture of the three of us. Rejected gift choices included (and I kid you not) apples (inside joke), pink socks, glittery Hannah Montannah sticker, pink bows,..let’s just say Reason is a good friend.

2. I read Into The Wild (Jon Krakauer). I’d watched (and loved) the movie by the same title about a year back. So I was pleasantly surprised to have found the book-version. I intend to review both here, within the week. So keep me to that.

3. I also bought Jack Kerouac (whose work I’ve been meaning to read for years)’s book Maggie Cassidy. At twenty-six pages in, it already lives up to its promise of being ‘spontaneous prose’.So, possible Bookmark edition, there (*insert chorus groan*).

4. I’m now watching Only Fools and Horses, an old BBC sitcom. So far, loving it. I also bought the first two seasons of The Office (UK version), which I look forward to watching.

5. Lucid and I had a week of tests, that we’d rather not discuss.

Yeah, I think that sums up this month pretty well. Unless procrastination gets the better of me (as it unfortunately has, in recent months), expect another post in the near future. Until then,bye. And do leave us updates on your lives in the comments section below.

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Here’s a snippet form a conversation (through texting) I had with my dad, today.

Me: Just got on the bus.

Dad: Ok. Take care.

Me: “Take care”? Alright, man.

( I take the bus all.the.time.)

Dad: YO! lol.

Me: Dude, stop talkin’ like that, yo.

This time, he did not attempt a reply.   😐

He did pick me up at the bus stop, though, so he definitely gets points for that.

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The following is as close to a transcript of  a conversation I had yesterday, as I can offer.

Me: (calling FuzzyLogic)

Person-X: Hello?

Me: Hi. Yeah, you free?

Person-X: …Uh, WHY?

Me: What do you mean–wait, do you not recognize me?! O_o!

Person-X: No.

(I feel compelled to add that Fuzzy often replies in monosyllables. This is something, I feel sure, that  would only be enhanced by her not knowing the caller. My logic thus perfected, I proceeded. Quite gleefully, too, I might add. You will want to remember this to rub my face in later.)

Me: !!!! Do you not have caller ID?

Person-X: Yeah. But I don’t remember everybody’s numbers.

Me: *Playing positively wounded, now* Well, you should know THIS one! What has it been, TEN YEARS??!

Person-X: Eh?

Me: O.M.G.!  Fine! My name begins with an ‘A’ and ends with an ‘I’ !* ( This last one ,spoken very triumphantly)

Person-X: Uh..

Now, suspicion dawned. Fuzzy isn’t the brightest crayon in the box ( I am, although you may beg to differ at the conclusion of this tale), but she can spell. This, along with several factors that an astuter being than I may have picked up on, if such a one existed, led to an “Oh” Moment. Then I hung up really, really quickly.

Person-X may now be safely revealed to have been Fuzzy’s brother or ‘FuzzBrother’, as we shall refer to him henceforth. Suffice it to say, nothing will induce me to call her on her land-line EVER again.

Moral of the story: Look before you leap. Srsly.

* No, my name isn’t really BWC. Sorry to disappoint.

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I’ve been blindly inhabiting a world in which you believed in either of Evolution or Intelligent Design ( if neither, then as per the former theory, you’re not going to be around very long. And as per the latter? God only knows!) sadly unaware of a THIRD option. This third option provides not merely a middle ground as one would suppose, but complete relief from at all having to think. It is called Pastafarianism. Derived from, er, ‘ Pasta’. And yes, Pasta as in ” n. Unleavened dough, made of wheat flour, water, and sometimes eggs, that is molded into any of a variety of shapes and boiled. [Italian, from Late Latin, paste, pastry cake; see paste.] “.

Origin of this delightful concept (as per Wiki):

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is the deity of the parody religion[1][2] the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism.[3] Created in 2005 by Oregon State physics graduate Bobby Henderson, it was originally intended as a satirical protest against the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to permit the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in public schools. In an open letter sent to the Kansas State Board of Education, Henderson parodied the concept of intelligent design by professing belief in a supernatural creator which closely resembles spaghetti and meatballs. Henderson further called for his “Pastafarian” theory of creation to be allotted equal time in science classrooms alongside intelligent design and evolution.

The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster can be dated to January 2005[4] when Bobby Henderson, then a 25-year-old Oregon State University physics graduate, sent an open letter regarding the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the Kansas State Board of Education.[3][5][6] The letter was sent prior to the Kansas evolution hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in biology classes.[3] Henderson, describing himself as a “concerned citizen” representing ten million others, stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity.[3] In his letter, he noted,

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.
—Bobby Henderson[7]

According to Henderson, since the intelligent design movement uses ambiguous references to a designer, any conceivable entity may fulfill that role, including a Flying Spaghetti Monster.[2] Henderson explained, “I don’t have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he’s intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor.”[8][9]

In May, having received no reply from the Kansas State Board of Education, Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[4][10] Shortly thereafter, Pastafarianism became an internet phenomenon.[2][11] Henderson published the responses he then received from Board members.[12] Three board members, all of whom opposed the curriculum amendments, responded positively; a fourth board member responded with the comment “It is a serious offense to mock God.”[13] Henderson has also published the significant amount of hate mail, including death threats, that he has received.[14][15] Within one year of sending the open letter, Henderson received more than 15,000 emails on the Flying Spaghetti Monster,[16] of which he has said that “about 95 percent have been supportive, while the other five percent have said I am going to hell”.[11] During that time, his site garnered more than 350 million hits and used about 700 gigabytes of bandwidth per month.[16]

As word of Henderson’s challenge to the Board spread, his website and cause received more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson’s argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and Internet culture websites.[17] The Flying Spaghetti Monster was featured on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia, and Fark.com. Moreover, an International Society for Flying Spaghetti Monster Awareness and other fan sites emerged.[18] As public awareness grew, the mainstream media picked up on the phenomenon. The Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design in public education.[3][19][20] The open letter was printed in many large newspapers, including the The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Chicago Sun-Times,[16] and received “worldwide press attention” according to one journalist.[21] Henderson himself was surprised by its success, stating that he “wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything”.[2]

 

 

 

 This is the most entertaining thing (see also: BRILLIANT!) I’ve read in ages. SO, thank you, My Lord Henderson. You’ve got yourself one more Believer.

 

 

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It’s called, brace yourselves, howmanygoats.com


That title just made my day (although it could have, even had it not been as AWEsome as this is, since classes in the afternoon session got cancelled today on account of it’s being “Hostel Day”. Yay!)

My score, you ask?

Yeah, I'm feeling PRETTY smug right now. Can you tell?


That’s right. Solid tenner.Which seems great, since my brother scored a six, and that ratio sounds just about right. Although I really would like to know the maximum number of goats a person COULD be worth, y’know? Like, how much would Chuck Norris, say, be worth?Hmm..


Find out how many goats YOU’RE worth and leave us a comment ( I dare you!).

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searching-for-meOh, they had better be! Incidentally just who do you file a suit against in this case?That’s what I’d like to know.

Sometimes though, education can be worse than bitter – it can be just plain olde stupid ( and here I quote our textbooks) :

” This is also known as small signal current gain and its value is very large.” Bloody physics.

” People should not participate in the election process because they don’t know what’s good for them.” From my brother’s text on the chief arguments against Democracy.

” It may also be performed by unqualified, illegal quacks ( Comment : Quacks?!)..”.As in the Biology text book  (something about intrauterine contraceptives).

Disclaimer : Italics are mine, obviously.

Although they are entertaining, these little snippets just seem to crop up so much more often when The Big Bad Exams are here and I need to vent, don’t they? This has been your Fact For the Day.

What else has happened that is of moment and worthy of this here blog? I just finished Atlas Shrugged a couple of days back.You know, because that is obviously The Thing To Do when you have The Big Bad- let’s just say BBEs from now, shall we? So, yes.I was saying.Thing to do.Obviously.

And? It’s brilliant.It has all the Objectivism from Fountainhead and her characteristic style..In short : Really liked it.The only trouble with it is the microscopic print- takes halfway to forever to read!- and the fact that it can just get a little too verbose and repetitive at some points.I am in love with the idea and characters, though.And you know what they say, love is blind!So it is that I am urging you all once again to GO READ IT ALREADY!

And because of the insistent throbbing somewhere around my temples ( say hi, temples!) I am going to have to call it a night, here.Actually more because I have managed to convince myself that this is, of course, the only reason I am not studying for that dreaded Physics Exam (Ohhh boy!) and if I keep at this that bossy, sensible voice in my head is going to have things to say, isn’t it? Not leaving without a quote from the book, though (and my favourite) :

I think it’s funny.  There was a time when men were afraid that somebody would reveal some secret of theirs that was unknown to their fellows.  Nowadays, they’re afraid that somebody will name what everybody knows.

– Fransico d’Anconia ( Although I like Rearden better.And Dagny- yes, the female lead, for a change! I couldn’t stand Galt, though. That would be my second-favourite quote: ‘Who is John Galt?’.OKOK, I’m leaving.Give the girl navy dude a break!)

Update:

I found this in the dictionary:

“quack 2 // (kwk) n.

1. An untrained person who pretends to be a physician and dispenses medical advice and treatment.”

Who knew?!


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