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Posts Tagged ‘gossip’

Thaa..t’s me (Score to self for the rhyme!) !

“A little bit of industry is just what this soul needs”..that’s what you thought right? Well, I was right there with you.Until now.Judging by the lousy week I’ve had, though? Industry = BAD.It equals just asking for trouble.If you go to Vidya Mandir* (there, I’ve said it!) , anyway.Remember that post on Women? I bet you thought I was just ranting about one such female, one little incident somewhere along the way that scarred me for life.. No such luck, however.The Gentler Sex seems determined to enforce my observations.This week for instance :

I was appointed Art Director for this play we’re performing, Saturday. Equals good, right?

No.

Because of the natural females-politics affinity.

First, this woman asks me to be the Art Director.She says : Design the sets.What do I do? Design the sets.And then she says: start working on it.I’m working on it.And THEN.. she says I haven’t done anything at all towards the creation of a set and so I go in the trash can so she can find herself a shiny, new Director(so to say).Of course, this I hear only from gossiping juniors.

Why.

That is all I ask. OK, it’s not – I have a whole frikkin’ list, actually, but still.Just why is it so utterly, impossibly unthinkable to just come, tell ME if she thinks I’m not doing what I am not paid to do I should be doing ? And in my defence, I have actually been working on it.Most days, there are more active sloths than yours truly but I have been doing everything I can with available ‘crew’ (for lack of a better word) and material.In fact, some other people (outside of our cast) actually appreciated it. The aforementioned sow , though? She thinks ‘the wood kind of looks like it has little bugs on it’ (in reference to the wood-pattern). In her defence (yes, in my head, I actually defend the guilty party ,also) someone from our cast thought it was ugly (in not so many words, but still) , too. Now, generally, I like constructive criticism (much better than gushy complimenting) but this, when TO MY FACE.I absolutely do not appreciate learning from other sources of my ‘incompetence’.

Result : 1) I thoroughly regret agreeing to it at all.All play, no work suits me just fine (sorry, Jack**).

2) I hate school and, more importantly, the people in it even more.Which is sad because I didn’t think there was room for any more hate in that direction.

3) I am (possibly) no good at drawing things other than noses, too.Thanks, Life.It’s been a pleasure.

A while back, this kid at school made a speech during the assembly – something about having to trust the world anew everyday although it shatters that trust every single time.I thought it melodramatic at the time but there’s nothing like a little dose of school to cure such idiocy.

That will be it, for now.Stay tuned for further pleasant musings.

*The school I attend.

** ” All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy; All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy “.

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… Gossipville ? PolitiCity ? I could think of a choice few words more to describe the ‘fairer sex’ but we want to keep this blog PG-13**.That’s not to say I haven’t a couple of men in mind who would deserve them (and, possibly, more) ,too but it’s not a general tendency at the very least (Men, be thankful.Very thankful.).

I do not know the mind that labeled humans in general at the peak of the Intelligence chart but she ( Heck, I’m ranting about the Shes as things are, so why not go all the way, right?) obviously missed a couple of things.

I mean, you know how they say men are like dogs, women, cats ( no offence meant to the felines)? It’s true.The mind that came up with that, I’ve no issues with.Like, ” Give a dog a bone and–“. OK, the Memory fails, but it’s something to do with ‘Rufus’ being eternally grateful .Men are like that.I’m not saying ‘Give a man a bone and he’ll be eating right out of your hand’ but just generally, they’re nicer.Or maybe, the word I’m looking for is ..simpler.Not in the head! In a good way. Females, on the other hand (apart from making me want to tear at my hair) have all sorts of strange inhibitions and rituals and such like. Also note : I have never- to date- been offered an acceptable explanation (or of the beat ’round the bush-type) either.

Laws for Survival :

* Gossip hard.Especially about the person you were just gossiping with.Honestly.No sport has yet been invented that is more ..’compelling’.

* Herd instinct: There is NO such thing as individual opinion.Also: a female escort is needed everywhere.Especially to the loo.

* It is necessary to find ‘ those model-types’ absolutely insane ( ” Do those people think of nothing but themselves?!”) but also: if you do not know what shade (of pink) *insert famous female’s name* wore to That award show That year, you must be of tribal descent and scientifically ignorant.Something along those lines anyway.If not told so, the Looks will tell.

* If you are waiting in a queue, it is obviously essential that you notice how Poor Mary Sue’s hair is also indicative of tribal descent.This is only on Sue’s Birthday of course.Further lenience is unheard of.

* Everything is giggle-worthy.

* It serves well to imagine the worst of everyone, as everyone, of the worst. (He he.. I’m just having too much fun with this.The second part was supposed to mean everyone reciprocates. Or you imagine that they do.This is resultant of Law I).

* You know those tests where they ask you stuff like ‘ Would you tell your friend if she had spinach stuck to her teeth?’. All females should pick ‘No’.But they will not.Because such tests will generally be taken with said friends at shoulder.

Right-ho, then (Excuse me for that, I’ve had a lot of Wodehouse in me ole system, lately).Here, I shall end.This does NOT mean that’s the last of it- I merely do not want hate mail flooding my overflowing inbox.It also does not mean all females are annoying that way, or that guys are all ‘nice’ ( The brother comes to mind.He he), just that they are generally better people.To my (twisted) mind at least.Then again, generalizations are generally meaningless.Yes, there is reason to call us the Oxymorons.

That will be all.

Apparently, not:

I must also say that I am not sexist (how can I afford to be?).And that sexist people are stupid.That’s one generalization I wont argue with (again: how can I afford to? Just came up with it din’t I?)

**Not really.

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We had this Chief Guest at a school function once who said ( Why was I listening? Possibly with some futile hope of it’s actually ending I suppose) there’s three kinds of people: (No, not The People That Agree With me; Those Who Will,Soon; and Myself but..) 1.Bystanders – people that watch and do nothing

2.People who watch for gossip-fuel

3.People who don’t care to watch

( His words were,ah,how do I say-‘nicer’? but in essence, the same)

To my observation, category #3 is non-existent,#1 is sparsely populated but #2! Ah. There we have something !

See, last afternoon while on the bus back from school, we heard an ear-splitting shriek.Natural curiosity took over and people stuck their heads out to see “what!”.From the conversations that followed I gather that some poor kid got his foot stuck in a bike-wheel (ouch!).And of course, every third person on the bus had a dead cousin from the same cause.Honestly, why do people just seem to thrive on gossip? Fifty morons (I exclude myself, obviously) immediately begin to dissect the details of every past injury they received, their heroism etc.OK, so they weren’t- all fifty-doctors but if they couldn’t do much (jumping off a moving bus does not count under ‘Help’), why not just,ohh..I don’t know…SHUT UP? Act -II took place when we also saw an auto skid, topple over onto it’s side.Fortunately, the man wasn’t hurt.But, like trainees for a Synchronized Pressing Your Noses To The Windows contest, the whole lot were drawn to peer and dramatize.Yeah, I’m sure that gossip gives him 50 points in the hospital.Yay you all! Jeez.

Then there was a cremation-party- and boy do I mean ‘party’ – of drunken-looking people yelling and dancing.This is a very Indian feature (or South Indian? I don’t really know).Just -why? It’s disrespectful, noisy, blocks traffic, and leaves a trail of litter – you know, just in case you might want to trace back where they came from…in case they get lost like Hansel and Gretel,maybe.

Bright little ray of friggin’ sunshine, aren’t I? Anyway, what was your day like?

P.S : In case you haven’t guessed : my religion? Narcissism ( ‘I thought I was an atheist, then I realized :I’m God.’ )

Also:

How many of you think I should switch my avatar to ‘Misfit’ here : ? Raise my hand!

Update : My religion is now officially Non-Conformity.

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