Archive for July 18th, 2009

wakin-dreamYou may heave a sigh of relief, reader(s ?).This is not going to be a transparent attempt at ‘God-just-coming-up-with-something-for-NaBloPoMo-already!’. Funnily enough, I must attribute this to Half Blood Prince. ‘Funnily enough’ because the movie was utterly, utterly crap. In fact the only reason we sat through it at all is because it was so amusingly crap. I’ll give them credit for sticking to the plot for the most part, though. It’s obviously quite a task to condense a 600-ish-page book into a two and a half hour-movie, and everything of consequence has its place.

The flaws, though, are glaringly large and hard to look past. For your amusement (possibly) and mine (most definitely), I shall share some of these Moments:

1. SquintyScrunchy Slughorn.

Horace Slughorn is described as having “prominent, pale gooseberry coloured eyes, a shiny pate, and an enormous, silver, moustache that looked like a walrus”.

What we got: Horace Slughorn

He reminded me of Brenda Blethyn (Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice).However, while she was absolutely brilliant, the kindest thing I can say for this version of Slughorn is that he was most definitely not (Bold, Italics,Underline!).

2. “I killed Sirius Black, I killed Sirius Black!”

Long story short: Belatrix = Calypso* Wanna Be. Seriously. She spoke funny, she looked positively demented ( ‘positively’ is an unfortunate choice of word, really) , and she was just plain MAD. Belatrix is clearly a twisted hag, but this was just a whole nother character. If you need further proof (although I feel obliged to warn you that this is not for the weak of heart, and I do not actually advice you to watch it), I present:

This leads to my third point- The Burrow:

Now, correct me if I’m mistaken, but I’m fairly sure the Burrow wasn’t located on a crop circle. I mean, really. And also: The burrow’s defences are so weak that Belatrix can just drop in and set fire to it?! While it houses The Chosen One. Seriously?

4. The Death Eaters version 2.0

Fuzzy thought the new-and-improved FLYING (!!!) Death Eaters were missiles. I wont blame her, either, although I chose the more normal explanation of “Dementors??”.

5. The Romance.

They made it a freaking soap opera! Sure, the book held a couple of mentions of snogging but the melodrama just killed me.

Hermione’s permanently tortured expression was just plain exhausting.In fact, the following image sums up her entire role in this movie:

And Lavender.Omg, Lavender. She reminded me of an annoying, squeaky anime girl (you know the kind) what with her bow and just how unimaginably ridiculous she was. I mean, all right, she is a bit mental but what she isn’t is this:

And the hugely exaggerated, nonexistent-in-the-book Harry/Ginny moments? Let’s not even talk of those moments.No, seriously.

Summary: Gladiator-meets-High School Musical-meets-The Ring.

*From POTC.Loved her, though!

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